Let’s face it, 2015 was not my year. A lot of it was out of my control, but a lot of it was my own fault.
- Got let go from all representation
- Quit high paying job due to emotional abuse and bad management for low paying job but supportive management and flexibility
- An assistant job that didn’t go through
- 6 weddings
- Traveling plans that didn’t go according to plan
- Travel costs
- Spending more than I’m making – BROKE
- Severe credit card debt
- Laziness and no motivation
There were a lot of tears over the year. A lot of “WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT?” moments. I’d stay in watching hours of television and seeing great people on shows and thinking, “Wow, those people are so good, why would they ever need someone like me?” Getting closer to 30, I’m seeing my friends advance in their careers and relationships, making more money and babies and here I am, broke out of mind and can barely make rent. IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY. But it is. I chose this path and I HAVE to just wipe away the tears and stop comparing myself to others. It’s driving myself crazy. So I refocus. Take control of things I can and celebrate the accomplishments, and there are accomplishments, YAY!
- Got new representation
- Got meaty auditions and callbacks
- Had a more active role in my theater group
- Quit the low paying job to be a substitute teacher for LAUSD
- Star Wars (not an accomplishment, but it reminded me why I chose this path).
It was because of Star Wars that got me into acting. The possibility of being part of a world and story so awesome was enough of a motivation to pursue this crazy life still.
Nothing’s changed. Still chasing that dream. Let’s. Fucking. Go.
Han Solo and I in 2004
Vader and I in 2015