i have an awesome friend that is a marketing director for a clothing company, Mono B. she told me once that if i wasn’t doing anything, i could come in and model some clothes for her so she can upload it on twitter, instagram, and fb for the company. she gets volunteers, i get free clothes.
so yesterday, as i was doing nothing, i decided to come in. i really needed some new pants. she dressed me in a way that was ghetto fab/chic. i’m wearing expensive clothes with swanky heals/platforms, but with a beanie or a trucker hat. it was kinda hot. my friend wanted to re-brand me in that kind of way, which i think could work if i owned it.
ugh and there’s my problem again—i just don’t own what i have. my friend who’s in marketing and fashion sees the possibility in me and is seriously urging me to own it. im totally grateful for her encouragement, but i’m so not used to embracing the pretty.
in front of the camera, all i wanted to do was embrace the ugly! i wanted to make funny faces and dumb gestures and be in weird positions. but that was clearly not what she wanted. it was quick to see how inexperienced i was at looking pretty. even with bad ass clothing, i’d always managed to look boxy, fat, and awkward. hahahah, i give mad props to models with knowing how to pose and move where every frame is beautiful.
my friend was a bit frustrated with me because with every look, she’d had to coach me and even after a few snaps, i still didn’t get it. i just felt awkward and it showed through the lens. she gave me homework to look over catalogs and youtube on how to pose — how to look pretty and OWNING it.
i’m not insecure or anything. i’m just not used to thinking i’m pretty. i was a late bloomer, with glasses and braces and a neck gear (yup). i was scrawny with long limbs that were comparable to jar jar binx or the blow up air people in front of store openings (yes, i still have long limbs). anyways, so in that long period of puberty, i learned to embrace the ugly. so much that when the glasses and braces came off, i forgot to embrace the pretty.
so yesterday’s experience made me realized that that was what i needed to do. my friend is giving me another chance to redeem myself in two weeks. i’ll update again then.