so i’m kinda bummed out. actually i’m really bummed out. today i failed my first improv class. i have to repeat basics of groundlings. there’s nothing to be ashamed of and a lot of people repeat classes at groundlings, even my teacher. my teachers are right in making me take the class again. i personally don’t think i have a full grasp with the whole concept. i go on stage and my mind is blank and i give nothing to my partner. i think too hard where i panic into lameness. i give no emotion, no character, nothing. blegh. i just hate not succeeding at something now and it just makes me feel that i’m not progressing at all, but held back with more debt. -sigh- it’s a struggle indeed. anyways it’s hard to stay upbeat, but in no ways am i literally throwing in the towel. just feeling discouraged. fortunately my method teacher sent out a goal worksheet to fill out and instead of moping around (which i have all day), i gotta stay proactive and with this worksheet, it’ll keep my attention on the main picture.
1. Assessment of Last Year’s Goals
last year’s goal was to move to los angeles, get new headshots, get an agent, and excel in acting classes. moving to los angeles was the hardest goal to date. i left behind a lot in san francisco for an apartment that was roach infested (not anymore), a job where i wasn’t making nearly enough as i was in sf (serving job), more bills and debts (gas, classes, higher rent and utilities), and sometimes a lonely living/social situation (new city, new people). despite all the problems, i’m here. i’ve made it. that’s something i’m proud of. i’m in the process of getting new headshots, my photographer is almost available and i know she’s worth the wait. i did get an agent, but he doesn’t do anything. and though i’m not excelling in my classes yet, i am giving it my best and that’s all i can do for now.
2. Goals for the New Year
1) get an agent that will work for me, that will send me out on auditions. ASAP
2) be in the union, preferably SAG but at least AFTRA. ASAP
3) create/write scenes or web-series to build a portfolio/reel. Ongoing, but preferably have a reel after 6 months
4) work on website through webpress. keep portfolio and blog separate? by summer
5) read about meisner method, improvisation, watch shows, and go to casting director workshops (at least one book a month, and one show/workshop a week)
3. The Game Plan or Strategy
1) research agencies on IMDB. register for IMDB Pro to get their contacts. get industry books at sam french about agencies and what they’re looking for. update resume, headshots, and cover letter. send out to 20 agencies at a time.
2) register for AFTRA, and mention in cover letter to agencies that I’m serious about being SAG eligible.
3) web-series in the works. hopefully a webisode a week. write down ideas every time i get them. must write down stuff more.
4) gather tools together and start making the frame of the website and reel.
5) going to libraries and requesting books on the playhouse west list. going to shows offered at groundlings, going to shows at playhouse west. watching acclaimed movies and inside the actors studio. go to a workshop at least a week, look up calendars and research the casting director. look for monologues that show my emotional range and practice for workshops. practice cold reading too.