alright just got back from my second interview. it went alright. i thought i had it with a totally kick ass in depth monologue, super serious, and everything. i could feel the emotions swelling up at the right moments, i could feel my face getting hot, and tears about to stream through. but then he stopped me! in the middle of my monologue when i was about to peak, he raises his hand and says “i’m gonna stop you right there, i know you worked really hard on this, but …” and then he went on to say that he felt i needed more training. he asked me if i’ve ever studied method acting or when was the last time i had a class and how long were they. and as i answered each question respectively: never, a few months ago i took improv, and they were about a few months long; i realized that he was right. it’s true, i’ve never taken any method acting, it was always acting for the camera, commercial, improv. and i dunno why i never really considered it, but i guess now is a good time as any. he told me acting is like psychotherapy where i have to dig deep into my own experiences and kind of be able to transform those emotions with that specific experience into a button where i can push at any time, on cue, in front of the camera, every time. it makes sense. i had an acting teacher that told me i had the talent, i just didn’t know how to control it. to act for tv, movies, for directors and producers, i have to give it consistently and professionally.
i really only have myself to blame for this. i curse myself for not taking acting seriously for years and now expecting to get a theatrical agent within a month of being here. silly silly rabbit, silly silly thi. he even asked me if i was serious about this. do i not resonate seriousness about this?? of course im serious! i guess it shows that i haven’t performed in awhile (the last time i really truly acted was a year ago). blegh. he did give me a list (a long ass list) of acting studios to train. i’ve already picked out a cheap and good one, so hopefully the next time i audition, my “fat” won’t be showing. i’m out of practice, i’m out of shape, and it shows!!
i asked him, “what do you want?” and he says, “meryl streep.” i laughed. that’s meryl streep! no one can touch her, let alone be her. i don’t want to be meryl streep. i want to be thi nguyen. but i get what he’s saying. i like how he’s pushing me and he wants me for commercials so that’s ok. if i can book a commercial, that can pay for classes. i already enrolled in groundlings and that was pretty expensive, and now i have to enrolled in a dramatic acting class, so money’s a bit tight. but i guess when it comes to my dream, i have no qualms about throwing down. gotta show i’m serious about this right? wish me luck. i really need it. and maybe a hug too.