he wants meryl streep

alright just got back from my second interview.  it went alright.  i thought i had it with a totally kick ass in depth monologue, super serious, and everything.  i could feel the emotions swelling up at the right moments, i could feel my face getting hot, and tears about to stream through.  but then he stopped me!  in the middle of my monologue when i was about to peak, he raises his hand and says “i’m gonna stop you right there, i know you worked really hard on this, but …” and then he went on to say that he felt i needed more training.  :/  he asked me if i’ve ever studied method acting or when was the last time i had a class and how long were they.  and as i answered each question respectively: never, a few months ago i took improv, and they were about a few months long; i realized that he was right.  it’s true, i’ve never taken any method acting, it was always acting for the camera, commercial, improv.  and i dunno why i never really considered it, but i guess now is a good time as any.  he told me acting is like psychotherapy where i have to dig deep into my own experiences and kind of be able to transform those emotions with that specific experience into a button where i can push at any time, on cue, in front of the camera, every time.  it makes sense.  i had an acting teacher that told me i had the talent, i just didn’t know how to control it.  to act for tv, movies, for directors and producers, i have to give it consistently and professionally.

i really only have myself to blame for this.  i curse myself for not taking acting seriously for years and now expecting to get a theatrical agent within a month of being here.  silly silly rabbit, silly silly thi.  he even asked me if i was serious about this.   do i not resonate seriousness about this??  of course im serious! i guess it shows that i haven’t performed in awhile (the last time i really truly acted was a year ago).  blegh.  he did give me a list (a long ass list) of acting studios to train.  i’ve already picked out a cheap and good one, so hopefully the next time i audition, my “fat” won’t be showing.  i’m out of practice, i’m out of shape, and it shows!!

i asked him, “what do you want?”  and he says, “meryl streep.”  i laughed.  that’s meryl streep!  no one can touch her, let alone be her.  i don’t want to be meryl streep.  i want to be thi nguyen.  but i get what he’s saying.  i like how he’s pushing me and he wants me for commercials so that’s ok.  if i can book a commercial, that can pay for classes.  i already enrolled in groundlings and that was pretty expensive, and now i have to enrolled in a dramatic acting class, so money’s a bit tight.  but i guess when it comes to my dream, i have no qualms about throwing down.  gotta show i’m serious about this right?  wish me luck.  i really need it.  and maybe a hug too.